An e-mail to a friend

I have a chair at work. I think it's broken... well, everyone says it's broken. But I love it. "It's the best chair in the building," I say. I say that every time ___ choose one of the following:

    a) I fall out of it

    b) a student falls out of it

    c) the arm falls off

    d) I touch the gum under the seat

    e) I roll over my toes

     f) the demon inside of it acts out and flings me around the room causing me to vomit all over myself.

     g) all of the above (albeit some of them purely conditional on future    events)

Does this mean I'm a curmudgeon, too?

Am I A Curmudgeon, Too?

  (a work in progress)

  by: me

And the soundtrack to the movie which is coming out this fall:

the title track is called Doot-Doodley-Doo. Other songs include: I Wear Flannel PJ Pants and Goddam Music's Too Loud. Soon-to-be hits for sure!

In real life:

How legit do you think this is?

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/fuo/3617869005.html

-- 

Do you think someone is just robbing a hotel they work for?

Because I really want that chair.

I <3 Squints

Valentine's Day events

We were at the grocery store this morning at 6:40. We walked past the flowers and chocolates just inside the front door, convenient for last minute shoppers. We walked past these to the back of the store to get Valentine's for their Valentine's Day Party. 

Ah, mission accomplished.

Post-purchase we pass the mechanical horse who gives away free rides. Oh, no, wait. We don't pass it. We never just pass it. Do you know what a strange sound that is? It's a strange sound in the grocery store at 6:45 in the morning. People with plans walk fast in business clothes. Long, black pea-coats. Toddlers are a strange sight this early--like, in public, I think. They get lots of sideways smiles. (the emoticon :) has given that phrase new meaning, eh?) 

we stop at the coffee counter for my 'videt' gift for myself and

out of the corner of my eye I see my oldest sneak a chocolate from the counter into the waistband of her skirt. I give her a look, an intense look, a look that says 'I have no idea what to do about this.'

We step over to the station for cream and sugar. This is an excuse for me to think of a plan. What do I say? How do I do this without embarrassing her?--

             (sensitive girl)

--Then I see! The chocolate has fallen onto the floor. I assess, "She doesn't know."

We get out the door,

Curtains up, lights on, deep breath, start acting:

I say "Wow, (sigh of relief [practice deep breathing]) that chocolate.
 I think it fell on the floor."

"No... .... ...." She searches the absence.

"You're so lucky."
Uhn... Duh... Twoi
"Do you know what happens?
what happens when you steal something?"
...
"The police come, they take you to jail."

I muster all the feeling of hope and love I have for this girl, it wells up in me to a never-ending maximum:

"I'm so glad they didn't take you to jail,
that would have been a terrible Valentine's Day."

She has a great depth for empathy and an extreme sensitivity I'm afraid I damaged. As TRULY as I can I feel emotion for her. It's how she learns.

Their school is so close, less than a mile. By the time we get there each chocolate gift has suffered a few nibbles. Inside the schoolhouse door, I greet the parents from a tiny chair while I assemble Valentine's cards. And I STILL make it to work on time. 

I am a badass :)

A Proclivity for Loving

and Loving Sex

I think one of my favorite things ever is the struggle between a boy and a girl.
But I imagine love is universal, I mean, that's the only thing that makes logical sense. Love is something that we as humans have evolved to feel for each other.


Evolution and biology:
Have we evolved to a point that our procreation is totally decided by love? Or influenced by it? Is love a product of spirituality or biology?
is love biological? or created by our thinking minds?
i don't think badgers "love" each other.
There is something there, there is something there to the argument that same-sex romantic proclivities are unnatural. That since "love" came from the animalistic, instinctual, base need to recreate oneself as much as possible it is "dirty" to "love" or "make love" to someone of the other sex because it doesn't come from the same base need for procreation...

OOOooooh, that's why you don't like it?

Don't even act like that's why. I fucking would HOPE that you have enough SENSE to realize how much fun sex is SIMPLY BECAUSE of this option. I don't have to have sex with someone ONLY to have babies. This is something that is nearly unique to humans. Sex for pleasure? People who are against gay marriage should be against sex for pleasure, too, in order for their argument to be valid. If the only pure way to have sex is for it to be for the purpose of baby-makin' you KNOW those people have shitty sex lives and, therefore, can't TRULY love each other

(intimacy;
 bare-hearted,
 orgasmic
intimacy
is how I get to the love cliff.
Whether or not I fall off that lovely love cliff depends on more, different things.

Orgasmic vulnerable SEX will walk me right up to the edge, though. Every time.)

"My steps cannot be learned. They're intuitive based entirely on jungle rhythms."

Gray,

Sad

Place

My

Mother

Is.

I had a vision last week

This was my vision:

There are two of me, two more East Asian-looking, More male versions of me. One is older, the other is young. The old me and the young me nod to each other in mutual respect, honest hesitance and slowly retread. The older gentleman is at the base of a slow hill.

And then there's this:

What does it mean???